The [ONLY] Drama thread

[Ðeeth]

Relationship problems? Family problems? Whatever the cause, feel free to vent here.

[Zerovirus]

Ah.

Good.

A place for me to explain my self.

First.

As you all know, I have been extremely arrogant. The Superiority Complex that I have diagnosed myself with showed itself quite explosively a month or so back.

Let me tell you a... Story. One of a simple mathematical expression, the Inequality.

Sixteen years ago, a boy was born. He was Chinese.

He was sickly thin, with great emphasis on sickly. The Chinese doctors doubted he would live past the age of four.

As the news has been reporting since the Cold War, China is polluted. They exaggerate, but not by much. The damaging air is especially unwholesome for a child's lungs.

I am sure you can do the math.

He survived, though. He lived for years; his parents excelled, finally quitting their jobs to exclusively study for some specific immigratory tests, and came to America, fighting through the most adverse of circumstances.

Now, he had always thought himself special. He had survived seven years of sickness that would have killed any lesser; he had entered the emergency room several times and survived. He had come to the brink of death multiple times.

He never cried.

And does that logic make sense? On one hand, one may argue that being sick is no thing to be proud of. However, it can be seen that the boy thought of it in his own way.

So he was proud.

Another thing about China is that their education systems at elementary school levels are much more advanced than the American counterparts.

This, of course, showed its effect upon that boy when he left the difficult Chinese curriculum for the much more comparatively easy American lessons.

As expected, he excelled. Five years of being the alpha leader. Five years of success without work. Five years of pure power.

What does this leave one with? The mind of a child is most easily bent. And it so happened that this boy's past changed him. He became haughty. Proud to the point of hubris. His mindset was one of eternal success. He would always be at the peak of everything...

...Right?

Then the next year. The curriculum, at sixth grade level, finally surpassed what he had learned from three years in a Chinese school.

He collapsed. Academic defeat means more than simple numbers on a piece of semi-cardboard paper, for it changed his worldview.

No longer was he the invincible master. The unbreakable had been broken.

And so then his subconscious... It. Hmm. It would be difficult to explain, but his self followed a strange path.

From disbelief. To denial. He denied that he had finally come to the point where he had to work, and so another three years passed before he finally began working. At that point, it had evolved into a strange asceticism

At that point he had become caustic. Part of his denial, after all, was managing to continue to convince himself that he was still above the masses.

But he was reasonable to some extent too. He had to be stronger than others in some way or other. First it was music- Violin, Piano, Clarinet. Instruments. Then it was writing. Stories. Creations. Universes. And then it became art. Painting. Sketches. SW Maps.

Do you see where I am going with this?

This boy did not work for the point of increasing his skill. He did so for the point of defeating others. He would persuade himself that, though his grades were unacceptable, that his musical, then writing, then artistic, talents, far outweighed all of those flaws.

Of course, he did not realize this until approximately three months ago, which, if you will see, approximately coincides with the point at which he began to try seizing respect from the members of a certain forum named Smileys War.

After all, he lived on respect. He had to be better. And he had to make others know he was better. He had survived seven years of physical torment without ever crying. He had conquered all subjects for five years. And now he was trying desperately to hold on to the last bits of his shattered ego, once a splendid and glorious thing to behold.

The members of that certain forum did not convey the sense of respect, no, of subservience, that the boy wanted.

So he lashed out.

Explosion.

Anger.

And finally, a withdrawal from this corner of his world, accompanied by rage with simultaneous despair.

But then, that boy was not a perfect being, no matter how much he wished to be and how much he thought he was. He was proud. He was disrespectful. He had become caustic, a pessimist, and struggled against, well, everything. Because he wanted to be greater than. And to be greater than, he had to be different. And the first part of being different is to break the bonds of tradition. His universe was composed of an inequality.

On one side is the entire planet. And the other side was that boy.

And he thought that he was on the Greater Than side.

But in the end there is no equation.

So.

Now, you understand. Or perhaps you do not. It is all the same to the boy...

...Because he understands himself better than anybody could. And the more he looks inwardly, the more strings he see inside the web of his mind.

If he was the best in all things, could he not reshape the world? Traumas that stalk it. War. Famine. Disease. Poverty. And uncounted others. He could erase it all. He could bring eternal freedom and greatness. And above all, he would be loved and respected by every being in the world.

No.

I would be loved and respected by every being in the world. I could bring in the next enlightenment.

I would be the next enlightenment...

A superiority complex is a great weight to bear.

[Ðeeth]

Almost reminds me of myself.

Throughout my childhood, I had always held the belief that I had power, and have always proved it, whether it was the power to lead my 'team' to victory in a snowball war, facing the other first grade classes with just a handful of friends, or the constant academic achievements. Should I have been sent through the education system four years like was planned, I would have now been on my way to accomplish great things. This was not the case.

The further I got through the system, the easier things became, but I never changed. I didn't need to learn, yet I excelled greatly. Until my vendetta burst into existance.

A boy, Justin, stole away from me, the girl I wanted so dearly, and while I waited for my chance with her, things got worse. I finally was forced to change, I was used as a mental toy for a pair of monstrous people, people who deserve to be executed, for breaking the mind of a child. I hunted the people I thought were responsible for the death of one of these two, until I saw them both alive and well.

My mind broke, and for weeks I tried to rebuild, or atleast replace. Soon, however, I became a new person. My anger, my hatred, my transformation were all a part of me, with my past discarded and forgotten, I rampaged through the rest of my days, until finally, I found the calm that the soul needs. I found spirituality, in place of demonology. I found peace, in place of constant violence, but this was not enough.

The harder I tried to recover, the worse I was punished, as though I was destined to be something that thrives on rage, and that addicting, arcane feeling of power that comes with the mindless, vengeful hatred I felt.

Again, I tried and tried to stop the pain and the stress, which coincide, and become part of one another when I enter the calm. When I am reasonable, my organs are squeezed dry, and the pain is unbearable. I look through my past and I see, I was conceived by a man who should have died dozens of times.

This only strengthened my thought that I was destined to wield great power.

Even so, despite this, I always had one remnant of my former self, constantly growing, my tactical genius has won me the day, and the prizes I so richly deserved. However... It reminded me of my former, disgusting self, and reintroduced me to the dreams I suffered once before, of the Demon I worshipped, and begged for the power I craved.

Now, after everything, after my constant struggle against myself, I have finally recovered, but look what happened now...

Those things that kept my new mind from breaking, just as its predecessor had, have disappeared. I remembered the names of those two who have harmed me so dearly... the True cause... His name was Justin.


I found happiness, in a woman who I poured my compassion and loyalty into, only to have some fool friend ruin this for me. Now, my rage returns, and I am almost punished for my need to vent.

A year later, I find that she is with another, an abuser, a blasphemous fool who must be executed. His name... Justin.

After all my time trying to get her away from the abuse, and back into my arms, something goes wrong, and she's gone. Now, with my rage, and the numbness and cold that it now brings, I have nothing I can use to get her back to me once again.


The things that I have endured, and beaten, or have been beaten by, have all made me realise something. Should I continue to claim my victory over those people who have done heretical, blasphemous things, I will finally be able to prove that the people of this disgusting, corrupted world are simply pawns to a God. The problem, lies in my need for the woman, the one who gave me a genuine smile, and the blasphemous, unholy fool who stands between us. What must I do for that smile?

Thousands of plans, and crippling pain, all for those moments in life, where I see a smile on her face, and my pain subsides, all of this effort... I don't know anymore... Is it for nothing?

[Time Lord]

Who said you weren't gone? I thought you were gone?

{Zerovirus}

[gardor]

Well i give you part of my respect for remembering random typing. But i take that back cause you're a hypocrite, or whatever that's spelled.

Eternal freedom cannot exist, for eternal freedom means no justice, this resulting in crime, murder, factions battling, war, and ultimately, conquer, no matter how many times you undo it, for if you do, you're not letting them be free.

I am willing to accept that since you were little when you defied your foreseen fate, it did not make you more humble, but more naive and proud. Same with your workless expertise. I experimented the same, but since i'm a lazy ass, it didn't really effect me that much. And i'm also willing to accept that you broke when you didn't excell any longer.

Another fact, is that respect is not demanded for, it is earned. Thus why the respect you desired had not come.

I am to say that you cannot do all things, and i am to say that you are not superior.

But i am not to say that you are inferior to any other being, for we are all equivalent, and for that, we are all equals.


Lastly, if you are willing to be our equal, and to earn respect the way it is meant to be done, and if you wish to, i would be glad that you stayed.


EDIT: Oh, err, that was meant to Zerovirus. I took a while writing, even if it doesn't look like it, and i didn't realize that others had posted 'till i posted myself.

[Time Lord]

Its just one thing-school popularity

I hate it... I'm in the low section because I'm smaller and weaker and not as athletic. My dad even chews me out on that.

I try to join as much sports to fit in, I just can't.

I look like I'm in fourth grade. I [usually] do stuff healthy. I just can't raise it.

Do you know WHAT to do? Do you know HOW to do it? If you can plz.





And Zerovirus is online every day as a guest. Hes not gone.

[gardor]

Whatever, i give him credit for remembering the password he supossedly scrambled.

And dude, if you're smaller and weaker, and not as athletic, you gotta be funny or something. You know, tell a joke, prank someone, etc.

I'm tall and strong, but i'm not really talkative, so, yeah.


EDIT: Deeth, try explaining it in a less... Epic fashion. I imagined you killed Justin and then the girl hates you for that, and then got another dude who's also named Justin and he kicked your ass or stuff.

[Ðeeth]

I'm going to kill him if he threatens me again. There have been three in my life who have ruined things for me.

The one I'm fighting against now has threatened myself and her, and I've sent people to get information from him. Once I have what I need, I'll either have him arrested for what he's done, or gather the others who hate him, and the people he brought to deal with me, and we'll execute him then and there.

I'm out of choices, and as of now, I won't make any posts until later tomorrow. If I don't post tomorrow, he's gotten into the house. The police have done nothing, and I may be forced to stab him if he comes here.

[Time Lord]

I'm not funny. I know my class's humor, but they just don't really think the jokes I present are funny. No not because of the not funny kind of way, its of my unpoularity.

[Ðeeth]

Just make a joke when somebody does something stupid. Despite my arrogance and my racism, the classes I deal with all get along well with me.

I'll usually call out the dumbest or bitchiest person when they won't shut their mouths, beat them verbally and let them get on with being stupid in the silence that usually follows afterwards.